GRIEF AFTER THE STORM: Healing from Tragedy in Texas and Beyond

Grief After the Storm: Healing from Tragedy in Texas and Beyond
By Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP, CTP, QS
Founder, Through the Valley Therapy | Transformed Mind Consulting and Coaching
Host of The Holistic Counselor Podcast

Why I Wrote This Blog
After the recent floods devastated communities across Texas—and the heartbreaking loss of children and a beloved colleague from The Agency—my cousin, Ana Ruelas, reached out. She asked if I would moderate a live grief panel for those impacted. And it reminded me how deeply people need language, tools, and permission to feel.

This blog is a continuation of that panel—written not just for Texans, but for anyone navigating grief, vicarious trauma, or emotional overwhelm after a crisis.  Maybe you lost someone you love.

Maybe you're watching the news in tears. Maybe you're holding space for others and feel your own heart quietly breaking.

You don’t have to be at the center of a disaster to feel the storm. Grief has ripples. So does compassion.

As a trauma therapist, grief educator, and someone who has personally experienced loss, hurricanes, and the weight of silence after tragedy—I wrote this to say:

You are not alone.
There are tools that help.
There is still hope.
Let’s walk through this together.

Understanding Complicated Grief in a Complicated World
Grief isn’t linear. It isn’t neat. And it doesn’t always “make sense.” Especially not after collective trauma. 

We live in a world marked by layers of loss—COVID-19, mass shootings, hurricanes, suicides, cancer, and now, back-to-back floods sweeping through communities like Kerrville, Liberty, and parts of New Mexico. Add to that the invisible stress of political unrest, economic instability, and chronic media exposure, and you’re looking at complicated grief—a prolonged, intensified form of mourning, often worsened by trauma and repeated shocks to the system.

I’ve walked this path myself.

Growing up in South Florida, I lost classmates to leukemia, drowning, and gun violence—while serving as a student peer counselor in both middle and high school. I didn’t witness the drowning, but I held space for classmates while trying to make sense of the senseless. These early experiences planted the seeds of the therapist I’d later become.

Later in life, I survived Hurricanes Andrew, Wilma, and Irma. I was in Broward County during the Parkland school shooting, and it was that tragedy—after years in the creative industry—that pulled me back into mental health care full-time. Since then, I’ve supported countless clients through domestic violence, suicide grief, abuse, intergenerational trauma, and chronic illness. I’ve also buried my father, my sister, and my mother—each taken by cancer.

If you feel numb, exhausted, anxious, or hopeless—you’re not broken. You’re grieving.

What’s Really Happening Inside You? The Neuroscience of Grief and Trauma Grief is not just emotional. It’s physiological.

When tragedy strikes, your nervous system goes into survival mode:

• The amygdala (your brain’s fear center) goes into overdrive
• The HPA axis floods your body with cortisol
• Your prefrontal cortex (the logical, decision-making part) gets hijacked
• Your vagus nerve (which regulates calm and digestion) shuts down

That’s why grief feels like:

• Fatigue, fog, or gut issues
• Anxiety, insomnia, or numbness
• Panic attacks or irritability
• Disconnection from your body, faith, or relationships

These are normal reactions to abnormal events. You’re not overreacting—you’re responding like any human with a tender nervous system.

Vicarious Trauma Is Real—Even If It’s Not “Your Story”

You didn’t lose your home. You didn’t know the victims. But you feel heavy. Helpless. Maybe even guilty.  That’s vicarious trauma, and it’s very real.

It affects helpers, pastors, parents, therapists, teachers—anyone with a soft heart.

Signs of vicarious trauma include:

• Trouble concentrating
• Compassion fatigue or burnout
• Guilt for “not doing enough”
• Random tears or emotional shutdown
• Anger at the world or “the system”

Don’t gaslight your own pain just because others seem to have it worse.
Your grief matters too.

What NOT to Say or Do
When someone is grieving, even well-meaning words can land like emotional grenades. In our urgency to fix or soothe, we often cause more harm than healing.

Please avoid saying:

• “God needed another angel.”
• “At least they lived a long life.”
• “Be strong for your family.”
• “Everything happens for a reason.”
• “It could’ve been worse.”
• “Let me know if you need anything.” (This puts the burden on them. Be specific.)

Avoid:

• Rushing someone to “move on” or “stay positive.”
• Comparing their grief to your own story or another loss.
• Spiritual bypassing (“They’re in a better place” instead of validating their pain).
• Posting about their tragedy online without consent—especially if your intent is performative, like gaining sympathy, likes, or followers.
• Politicizing their loss to push an agenda or to stir up outrage online. Grief is already disorienting—don’t weaponize it.
• Using the moment to draw attention to yourself.

Pro Tip: If your words make you feel better but don't serve the person in pain—pause. Reframe.

What TO Say or Do Instead
When in doubt, lead with love, not logic. Here are examples that soothe rather than shame, hold rather than hurry:

• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this.”
• “I don’t have words, but I’m here.”
• “I brought dinner. I can drop it off or stay—whatever you need.”
• “You don’t have to say anything. I’m just here.”
• “I’m holding space for you.”

Also helpful:

• Offer specific support (rides, childcare, a walk, running errands, texting daily check-ins).
• Respect their silence and boundaries.
• Keep showing up long after the funeral or the headlines fade.
• Send helpful resources (like the ones in this blog) when the time is right.

Presence > platitudes. Your calm, grounded presence is far more healing than any polished phrase.

Tools for Healing – DIY Support You Can Start Today

Whether you’re a first responder, parent, teacher, a leader, or just someone hurting—here are some evidence- based, trauma-informed tools that work.

For Individuals

• Grounding (5-4-3-2-1): 5 things you see, 4 feel, 3 hear, 2 smell, 1 taste
• Breathwork: Try box breathing—inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4
• CBT Reframe: “This hurts now, but healing is possible.”
• IFS Prompt: “What part of me is activated today? What does it need?”
• Somatic tip: Try shaking out your limbs for 30 seconds—it resets tension

For Families

• Keep routines as steady as possible
• Be honest with kids (“I don’t have all the answers, but I’m with you.”)
• Use books, play, or drawing to help children express grief

Books for Kids & Teens:

• When Someone Dies – Andrea Dorn
• Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens – Dr. Alan Wolfelt
• Reactions – Alison Salloum

For Everyone

• Limit media exposure
• Spend time in nature (sunlight helps serotonin)
• Create a ritual (light a candle, plant a tree, write a letter to the loved one)
• Join a faith community or support group
• Let your nervous system rest—your healing needs stillness too

Therapy Modalities That Help
If you're ready for more support, here’s what to look for:

• CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy): Restructures thought patterns, helpful for intrusive thoughts or catastrophizing
• IFS (Internal Family Systems): Gets curious about “parts” inside you (like the inner child, protector, critic), great for emotional overwhelm
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing): For trauma stored in memory loops, especially after sudden losses
• Somatic Experiencing: Helps your body release stored trauma gently
• Faith-Integrated Therapy: Merges clinical tools with spiritual hope

A Story from the Storm: Bent Trees Still Stand
Last October, I was in Charlotte, NC, speaking at the Wise Practice Summit. While I poured into other clinicians, my husband went up to our family cabin in Avery County to check on storm damage from Hurricane Helene.

What he found shocked us both—flooded roads, broken bridges, and entire sections of land that had collapsed. He camped outside for four days, helping locals however he could. When he picked me up, he cried. In our 30 years together, I’ve only seen that twice before.
We went back recently. Some things are still broken. But we also saw neighbors rebuilding, kids playing, flowers blooming between debris.

Even in the loss, there is life.

On July 14, 2025 we hosted a Free Community Grief Panel "When The Unthinkable Happens" to support those impacted by the Texas floods and beyond.

Speakers:

• Dr. Kate Johnson, DMin, LMHC, CTP – founder of Life Abundantly Free
• Brian Gong, LMHC – EMDR consultant, trauma responder
• Moderator: Diana S. Rice, LMHC – Through the Valley Therapy, Transformed Mind Consulting and Coaching

Here is the link to the recording:  When The Unthinkable Happens

Resources & Relief Support

Books for Grief, Trauma, and Healing

• The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk

Trauma rewires the brain and body. This is the go-to science-backed guide to understand what’s happening inside.

• Permission to Mourn – Tom Zuba

A gentle companion for those navigating unimaginable loss—especially relevant for sudden or child-related grief.

• How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed – Megan Devine

A powerful journal offering validation over fixing—ideal for those who feel unseen in their grief.

• Healing After Loss – Martha Whitmore Hickman

Daily meditations for those facing profound loss—simple, poetic, and comforting over time.

• Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief – David Kessler

Co-author of the Five Stages with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, Kessler adds a deeply personal and research-based “sixth stage”—finding meaning after loss.

• Grief One Day at a Time – Dr. Alan D. Wolfelt

365 reflections for healing—each day feels doable, gentle, and grounded.

• It’s OK That You’re Not OK – Megan Devine

Challenges toxic positivity and gives a voice to real pain. Encouraging, honest, and radically validating.

Workbooks for Children & Teens

• Reactions: A Workbook to Help Young People Who Are Experiencing Trauma and Grief – Alison Salloum, PhD, LCSW

Especially helpful for kids facing violent or sudden loss (natural disasters, crime, etc.)

• Healing Your Grieving Heart for Teens – Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

100 practical ideas to support teens in naming and processing grief in their own way.

• When Someone Dies – Andrea Dorn, MSW

A beautifully illustrated book for younger children that explains death gently and clearly.

• The Invisible String – Patrice Karst

A beloved metaphor to help children (and adults) understand connection beyond physical presence.

• Tear Soup – Pat Schwiebert & Chuck DeKlyen

A grief allegory that’s great for multigenerational reading—especially after sudden or collective loss.

Podcasts That Support Grieving Hearts

This Beautiful Ugly – Dr. Deb Harrell & Shar Stephenson

A powerful and faith-informed podcast about grief, trauma, and the beauty that can rise from
ashes.

The Holistic Counselor Podcast – Diana S. Rice

Where science, soul, and Scripture meet to support whole-person healing. Includes episodes on vicarious trauma, nervous system health, grief, and spiritual processing.

Grief Out Loud – Dougy Center

Real stories from grievers, plus tools for supporting children and teens after tragedy.

Terrible, Thanks for Asking – Nora McInerny

Raw, real, and sometimes funny. This podcast helps listeners feel seen and less alone in sorrow.

The Mindfulness & Grief Podcast – Heather Stang, MA, C-IAYT

Uses yoga therapy, mindfulness, and neuroscience to walk listeners through grief gently.

Good Mourning Podcast – Sally Douglas & Imogen Carn

From Australia, these hosts lost their mothers young and now offer global resources with honesty and compassion.

Relief & Support Links

• The Agency Gives (100% until July 31 goes to Texas)
• GriefShare
• Give an Hour
• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline
• SAMHSA Disaster Helpline
• Texans on Mission
• Kerr County Flood Relief Fund
• Southern Oaks Church Flood Support
• Salvation Army Kerrville
• American Red Cross

About the Author
Diana S. Rice, LMHC, CIMHP, CTP, QS is a licensed therapist and integrative mental health specialist in South Florida. She is the founder of Through the Valley Therapy, offering telehealth for adults navigating grief, trauma, and life transitions—especially from immigrant and faith-based backgrounds.

Diana also leads Transformed Mind Consulting and Coaching, which equips organizations, churches, and professionals with trauma-informed trainings and emotional resilience workshops. 

She hosts The Holistic Counselor Podcast, where faith, psychology, and healing converge to offer real tools and
real hope.

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